


Section 1050.9 Subsection (h) Paragaph 1.

by Willowe



Category: Hawkeye (Comics), Marvel, Marvel (Comics)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-29
Updated: 2017-06-29
Packaged: 2018-11-21 02:44:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11348238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Willowe/pseuds/Willowe
Summary: "...no person may bring any animal on or into any conveyance or facility unless enclosed in a container and carried in a manner which would not annoy other passengers."Or, Kate's bag is totally big enough to fit Lucky, right?





	Section 1050.9 Subsection (h) Paragaph 1.

**Author's Note:**

> Title and summary taken directly from the MTA Rules of Conduct. I can't believe I went digging through the MTA website for this information.
> 
> Based on [those photos of people carrying dogs onto NYC subways in bags obviously not designed to carry dogs](http://tumblr.tastefullyoffensive.com/post/161527802973/ikea-bags-hold-everything-via-meanboysclub), because if this isn't the most Hawkeye-and-Lucky thing in the world I don't know what is. Apologies if this has been written before, I just couldn't resist!

“Ma'am, I’m sorry, but dogs aren’t allowed on the subway unless they’re in a carrier.”

Kate stops in her tracks and Clint almost stumbles over Lucky, who whines and dances to the side, agitated at their delay. Kate has a look on her face that’s somewhere between bewildered and murderous, like she definitely caught the _ma'am_ but isn’t sure she heard the rest of that sentence correctly. “Excuse me?” she asks at last, a little too sharp to pass as genuine confusion.

“Your dog-” the MTA officer gestures at Lucky, “-can’t ride the subway unless it’s in a carrier.”

“Okay, well, I need this dog-” Kate points at Lucky, “-to get on that subway-” she points at the train, “-with me and my friend. So give me whatever ticket you have to, but we’re getting on that train.”

“I’m afraid I can’t let you on with the dog,” the officer repeats. “If you don’t cooperate I’m going to have to ask you to leave the station.”

“Are you futzing kidding me?” Kate snaps.

“Kate…” Clint says, low and warning. They’re both exhausted from a long day of weapons testing and training with the Avengers. Clint’s patience is wearing thin too, but it’s still going to be at least an hour until they get back to Clint’s building and arguing with the officer will just mean getting home even later. If either of them had money they could just take a cab, but Kate lost her wallet and Clint spent the last of his money on pizza the night before. It’s the subway or walking, and Clint is not hiking from Midtown back to Bed-Stuy when he already feels like death.

Kate huffs in annoyance and stares down the officer. The man stares back at her, obviously refusing to budge. Clint watches their subway pull away from the platform. Lucky is looking between the three of them, like he’s trying to figure out the secrets of the universe. Or like he’s hoping one of them will suddenly magically produce something for him to eat. Either option is equally likely.

“Look, Officer,” Clint begins, when it’s clear that the standoff isn’t stopping anytime soon. “We don’t want any trouble. We’re just trying to get home, same as everyone else.”

“And you can follow the same rules as everyone else,” the officer says.

“But we’re Avengers!” Kate says and Clint has to resist the urge to facepalm because, honestly, she should know by now that that line doesn’t work nearly as often as it should.

The officer snorts. “You and half of New York. But I don’t care if your dog belongs the Queen of England, unless it is carried in a container it can’t go on the subway.” He smirks and adds, “Maybe you should call up Iron Man, have him fly your dog back home instead.”

Kate narrows her eyes and Clint recognizes her _I have a plan_ face immediately. It’s a face that says nothing about the quality of the plan, only that a plan of some form is coming together. “Clint, could you give me your jacket, please?” Kate asks. Her voice is sugar-sweet and the smile she gives to the officer is razor-sharp.

“What are you planning, Katie-Kate?” Clint mutters at her as he shrugs out of his jacket and passes it over.

Kate grins at him in response, wide and wicked, and passes him Lucky’s leash. “Hold that.” She takes his jacket and twists it into a series of complicated knots, tying up the arms and the back until it forms a makeshift basket. 

“Take this,” she says, passing the jacket back to him. Clint, bemused, does and watches as she shrugs the oversized tote bag she’s carrying off her shoulder and begins to empty it.

“What are you doing?” the officer asks, suspicious, as Kate starts piling her belongings into Clint’s jacket-turned-purse. Sunglasses and makeup compacts get tossed in alongside arrowheads and what looks like half of her first aid kit. Clint snags her collapsible bow and tucks it under his arm so it doesn’t get lost in the mess and is thankful that she doesn’t have a quiver full of arrows with her at the moment. They don’t need to get into an argument about _that_ with the officer as well.

“I’m going to carry my dog in a container onto that futzing train,” Kate tells him, tossing a handful of old receipts into the garbage and shaking out the inside of her bag. “Lucky, c'mon boy, get inside.”

She points at the bag and Lucky noses at it, sticking his face inside and pushing the bag along the ground. The officer snorts and says, “Your dog isn’t gonna fit in that bag, ma'am.”

Clint has his doubts about that too but Kate just rolls her eyes and takes Lucky’s leash back. “Lucky, I need you to work with me here,” she says, pulling the bag away from his head. “See, you have to step into it, like this.” She picks up one of his paws and sets it down in the bag. “Now your turn.”

The officer looks like he’s two seconds away from bursting out laughing, but Clint knows better than to doubt Lucky’s intelligence even if the dog sometimes looks like the most pitiful creature in the world. Lucky looks up at Kate, barks once, and steps neatly into the bag, paws tucked up close to his body and head ducked down to make himself as small as possible.

The officer looks less like he’s going to laugh now but he still scoffs and says, “There’s no way you’re going to be able to carry that.”

Clint snorts and can’t resist saying, “I wouldn’t bet on that.”

“If I can carry it, I can take Lucky on the subway though, right?” Kate asks. The announcement board says that a new train is a minute away and Clint is hoping that they’ll actually be able to get on that one.

“Sure, whatever,” the officer says, clearly just humoring her. “If you can carry that bag, your dog can ride with you.”

Kate glances at Clint. He holds out the jacket but doesn’t say anything. If she wants him to carry the bag with Lucky he will, but he suspects that he won’t have to- and he’s not surprised when Kate reaches for the bag herself. She grabs the handles and pulls, arms straining with the effort, but the bag lifts, Kate stumbling a step back with the weight until Clint reaches out and stabilizes her. Kate grunts and hefts the bag over her shoulder and takes a step towards the platform, just as the train pulls up.

Clint grins at the officer and gives him a mock salute. “Guess we won’t be needing Iron Man after all, huh?” he says and jogs after Kate onto the subway.

There are a couple of open seats but Kate has chosen to stand, positioning herself directly in front of the doors so she can stare down the officer as the subway pulls away. Clint opts to take one of the seats, only so if Kate decides to sit with Lucky on her lap later she can, and ignores the people around them taking pictures. 

“If I had money I’d offer to pay for dinner and beer after that delightful show,” Clint tells her. “Maybe I should call up Stark after all, get him to fly celebratory pizza out to us.”

Kate laughs. Lucky barks. Someone’s camera flash goes off. “You think he’d actually do that?”

Clint pulls his phone out and snaps a picture, typing out a quick message to Stark and sending it off. Thank god for StarkPhones with service _anywhere_. “I’d say we have pretty good odds,” he says. “Stark hates the MTA and he’s definitely used the armor for less important things though.”

“Why does he hate the MTA?” Kate asks. “I mean, I’m assuming there’s something besides the normal reasons people hate them.”

“They tried to make the Avengers pay tolls for flying onto Staten Island, back in the early days of the team,” Clint says. “Stark was refusing to pay them at all so I convinced Stark to let me pay everything in quarters. The MTA responded by issuing about thirty tickets for various bullshit violations, some I think only apply to subways anyway. Stark paid them in pennies, we got more tickets thrown our way- you get the idea. We eventually got them all thrown out when Rogers politely pointed out that this behavior would, quote, dissuade Avengers from ever responding to emergency calls from Staten Island, end quote.”

“No fucking way,” Kate says, grinning widely.

“Seriously, I could not make this up if I tried,” Clint tells her. “Stark’s held a grudge ever since then.” As if on cue Clint’s phone chimes with a reply consisting of about ten emojis and a demand for both the full story and the address to their favorite pizza place. Clint waves his phone in Kate’s direction and says, “Looks like pizza is on, Katie-Kate.”

Kate laughs so hard she almost doubles over, one hand wrapped around her stomach and the other gripping the pole to keep herself upright.

The strap on her tote bag snaps suddenly and Lucky tumbles towards the ground with a startled yelp. Kate and Clint both reach out, grabbing him just before he hits the ground. Clint helps Lucky back into the bag and gives up his seat for Kate, who sits with Lucky perched in her lap for the rest of the ride to Brooklyn. They’re supposed to change trains once they hit Brooklyn but Kate is starting to huff and sweat from the effort of holding Lucky for so long, and Clint knows the futility of trying to convince her to let him carry his dog instead.

“It’s a nice night out,” Clint says casually while they’re waiting on the platform for their transfer. He glances at Kate out of the corner of his eye and asks, “Feel like walking the rest of the way?”

There’s no doubt that Kate sees through his offer but she just says, “Sounds good to me, Hawkeye.”

When they exit the station they pause for a moment to get Lucky out of the bag. Clint puts his entire jacket in the ruined tote and picks it up without question, both arms wrapped around it to hold it against his chest. Kate shakes out Lucky’s leash and says, “Let’s go, boy.”

Overhead, the Iron Man armor shoots across the sky. Clint swears he can see a pizza box held in the metal gauntlets and he grins at the sight.

**Author's Note:**

> The fine for an "unauthorized animal" on the subway is apparently only $25, so honestly going to these lengths to avoid paying that is even more of a Hawkeye thing to do.


End file.
